So close, so disappointed.

Ever come up just shy of overwhelming success or a distinguished victory. That is the story of my weekend. I entered the 2008 Devon Grand Prix of Cycling with a great attitude. In part because as a cyclist, I have felt fairly strong physically and more importantly, mentally confident. Last year, as a Category 4 racer, I won this event. This year, as a CAT 3  racer, I finished in 9th place. In a field of 45 or so riders, 9th may not seem too bad – except for the fact the cash prizes only went to 8th. However, I feel I raced and performed better than 9th place overall. The race consisted of 4 events and in only one, did I feel like I got what I deserved; that was the the 30km time trial where I placed 11th - I don’t like TT’s and hence was satisfied. However, in the criterium and the road race, two events that I thoroughly enjoy and can really excel at, ending up being very disappointing.  Without getting into details, the important thing is too learn what could have been done differently and also to be proud of completing all the events and getting a top 10 finish. The looming question that kept up up last night and will likely invade my thoughts again is “what could have I done differently that would have changed the outcome”?

How much harder could I have gone? Despite the pain and fatigue, I’m sure I could have come up with a few more Watts. Easier said than done. After a weekend of racing I was certainly tired, but during today’s 105km road race, I was able suck up a little leg pain and general discomfort and respond to attacks, lead off the front, win a King of The Mountain sprint, but came up short at the end. Why?

The general lesson to be learned here is that failure, or perceived failure, can be viewed in a positive frame. It provides incentive for introspection which would otherwise likely not occur under a scenario of success. Other than analyzing how  I can improve,  I will also think about my successes over the weekend and will look forward to new challenges ahead.

Creating Luck

We have all heard this before – you create your own luck. Well, I am ready for some luck creation. I missed being lucky on the weekend during a 112km road race where I missed joining a successful breakaway at kilometre 25. I am currently focusing my efforts on being lucky at being the successful candidate for a job competition. How? Well, I have an interview, so now it is is time to learn as much about the position as possible and then prepare, prepare, prepare. I am tired of being unlucky!

TT: Pain and Suffering

Now I remember why I don`t like Time Trials. Today`s event was only 10km, but that translated into 14 min. of pain. Sure, attitude is important because pain really is a part of cyling much like the ‘quad’ is a part of fiqure skating. However, my leg strength is not up to where it should be – my cardio system was wondering why my legs didn’t show up. So this morning there was suffering. Tonight is a criterium where in addition to pain mangement, strategy becomes an important variable. I need  to remember the distinction between pain and suffering. As indicated pain is inevitable if you want to race a bike, while suffering is what happens when you focus on the pain and not on your goals.

Motivation

Motivation is an extremely powerful force. What motivates? Motivation in my mind is largely internal, but also very learned. When I think about what motivates me, there is an intrinsic drive - but also, much of the motivation is derived from my experiences. For instance, current career aspirations and cycling objectives and many of my life goals would never have gained a priority focus for me if it hadn`t  been for the failures, successes and other learnings from being a `partcipant`. Such experiences  have forced me to question and assess priorities on a continual basis. In a nutshell, I feel fortunate to have a healthy motivational drive.  Competition is healthy! On another note, I have a conscience to look out for the underdog. 

Thresholds…

I deal with thresholds in many contexts. For instance, tonight I went for a threshold training ride. Over the last week, I have contemplated the concept of coping thresholds in terms climate change adaptation. And today I questioned my tolerence threshold in dealing with my boss. In all cases, once the threshold is crossed, change is inevitable. Whether it be crossing into an anerobic state, irrepairable harm to a species or system, or quitting my job, they are all due to exceeding a threshold.